Happiness is.....

Happiness is.......

Years ago, my grandmother and great-grandmother decided to pursue a dream that they shared by publishing a "coffee table" book. The concept of the book was very simple, they would spend the next year asking people one simple question... "What is happiness?" After a short explanation of the project, 397 answers to that simple question were listed along with the age of the person providing the answer. From ages 4 - 104, people were happy (no pun intended) to answer the question and provided responses that were as varied as one could imagine. At the time the book was published, I was entering the 4th grade, and scattered throughout the book were pictures of our extended family at birthday parties, on fishing trips, or other excursions. I was proud to point out to all of my friends and family that I had appeared in the pictures more often than any other family member and therefor considered myself a celebrity. Oddly enough, I was never asked for an autograph or to pose for a single photograph... but there's still time.

I picked that book up this morning and read through a number of pages. I specifically searched for the responses given by people my age and I quickly found a common theme in the short, one-lined answers. While many teenagers and people in their early twenties expressed joy in their independence, it was my age group that found pure happiness in sharing their experiences with other people. One response from a 24 yr old woman explained that... happiness is.... "arriving at home to congratulatory flowers from my boyfriend after receiving a promotion at work". I was intrigued by this answer because the young lady does not mention her promotion as a reason for her happiness, but rather the deliberate gesture of flowers by her boyfriend. Now I never want to walk into my apartment to find flowers from some guy as a congrats for anything in my lifetime, the idea behind this girl's answer definitely resonates with me. If I found out tomorrow that I had been offered the job of a lifetime, while I would be excited and grateful, the good news would be short lived if I had nobody to share it with. 

All of that to say this.... surround yourself with people that will lift you up during your accomplishments  as much as they will hold you up during your failures. On the other hand, be sure to be that person that congratulations your friends during the good times while consoling them through the bad times. A very wise lady told me that you create your own happiness, and while that is often true, the ability to share that happiness with others is what constitutes lasting joy. For example... we all know that I love Alabama football and that Alabama football makes me happy. Now lets flashback to the2009 Bama vs Tenn. football game. Perhaps one of the most memorable endings in Bryant Denny stadium will be the day that Terrance Coady lifts his mammoth arm to block the field goal attempt and save the season that would eventually lead to Bama's first national championship in 17 years. (Wow. I even got pretty happy typing that) Now lets say that I was the only fan in the stands when that game was being played. No one to high five, no one to share my lighter with while smoking the traditional victory cigar, no date to hug as I jumped up and down shouting Rammer Jammer..... The true joys that we experience in this lifetime are those that we share with others. 

If you are one of the few to read this post today, take the time to tell a friend congrats and how proud you are to have them in your life. Share in their happiness and allow them to share in yours. Pay it forward.

Those Three Little Words

Let me preface this blog by explaining that I have had the Lee Brice song "Love Like Crazy" in my head for almost a week. For those of you that don't listen to country music, the chorus goes like this....

Be a best friend, tell the truth
And overuse "I love you"
Go to work, do your best
Don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy

Now I have been know to sing in the car on long (or short) road trips. Usually these Interstate Karaoke sessions lead to me busting out the most vulgar rap music (Mr. Biggs, Duece Komradz, Warren G), but on the way back from Huntsville this past weekend I kept it country and probably sang (attempted to sing) this song 5 times.

All of that to say this...... The line "And overuse 'I love you' " is great advice. We are all brought up differently and our views on what love is and how it is showed are no doubt varied.Growing up, I remember people telling me not to use the word "love" lightly. The first time my mom heard me tell my Jr. High girlfriend that I loved her, I think her heart skipped a beat and a long talk about what love really means was soon to follow! Now that I am an adult (sort of), I do understand what love means to me and I think that we should most definitely overuse the words I love you. I know I do and I make no apologies for it.

The fear in overusing the phrase is probably caused by that thought that it may "water down" the true meaning and the emotions that are supposed to come with it.....i think it is an insecurity issue myself. I don't believe it is possible in any way to water down the words I love you. Now there are many different kinds of love..... like when your best friend scores face value seats for you to a Bama game - "Dude! I love you man"... or when your favorite artist comes on the radio... "I love this guy/girl". When you think about it though, at that very moment.... you are expressing your approval with and complete acceptance of that person or situation, and that is essentially what any kind of love is.... approval and acceptance.

Another reason that "I love you" can't be overused is that the three words by themselves really hold little value. "WHOA!!!!! This thing just took a complete 180 degree turn!!!! What is he talking about???" Check this out.... if you love someone, the words are just a verbal confirmation of actions the actions that you should already be doing or showing that person. If you really love someone, the words are actually kind of meaningless and only hold weight if your actions support it... but they are still good to hear.

I encourage anyone who happens to stumble on this blog to make an attempt at overusing "I love you" this weekend. Tell your momma "I love you" before you hang up the phone. If you weren't planning on talking to your momma or dad this weekend... call em anyway and just say " Hey just wanted to say I love you." Even if it doesn't give you the "warm and fuzzys", it might them, and God knows we all could use a warm and fuzzy feeling every now and then.

A String of Choices

"Life is a string of choices with no knot at either end."

I came up with the quote a long time ago when I was determined to get another tattoo that would reflect how I want to live my life. (Still no tattoo, but soon.) As I grew up and began to make decisions for myself, I can never remember a single time when my mom told me yes or no... instead, her advice was to "make good choices." Whether she knew it then or not....I'm sure she did.... she was teaching me perhaps the most valuable lesson that she ever could.

My greatest fear in life is failure....and while I am sure to fail at something almost every day, by God's grace, He gives me tomorrow so that I can fix the things that I failed today.That's where the "no knot at either end" comes into play. You see, many people my age make decisions in one of two ways. We either dive right in and hope for the best, or over analyze the opportunity until it passes us by. I'm not talking about spontaneity... perhaps the best decision I've ever made in my life was to take a weekend beach trip. That decision was made late on a Thursday afternoon, and had I thought about the logistics, money, and other details involved, I would have missed out on a life changing trip. When it comes down to it, I want to fall somewhere in the middle of "just go for it" and "let me think about it". Just like the "make your own necklace" kits everyone did in kindergarten, our choices are the beads and our life is the string. I don't want to be consumed with having the perfect pattern of red, white, red, black, red beads (or crimson for that matter), but i also don't want to be so careless that end up with only white beads.

So I guess my belated "resolution" this year is to find balance in the choices that I make. Anything worth having is worth waiting for, and anything worth doing is worth doing the right way. I thank God each night for the blessings in my life, but I think I will start to ask Him for direction and patience to make the right choices for myself and those that I love.

Roll Tide Always

What it means to me.

The new year is finally here, and with it comes many welcome changes for me. After reading a very special person's blog, I decided that I would share my experiences in 2012 with anyone and everyone willing to listen. While I can promise you that there will be no political stance taken in this blog, I do see the world through a pair of crimson colored glasses. Just like singing in the shower and drinking milk from the carton, I make no apologies about this! So here we go with the first post of 2012.... hold on tight.

What does it mean to be Southern? A question that some can answer in one word, while others, like myself, could go on for days. At first thought, the fat kid in me instantly thinks about my Mamaw's cornbread, Granny's banana pudding, and Mom's country fried steak. After that, any true Bama fan would go back to autumn days spent on the quad, the smell of bourbon in the air, and the sound of Rammer Jammer after the tide puts another W in the win column. It's everything about a country music song (most of them anyway), the dirt roads, the cowboy boots, the sundresses. All of these are southern things, but I'm not sure any of them make us southerners.

More than location or accents, being southern is a way of life that is learned from a very young age, and it is sad to think that it is a dying breed. It's not chewing tobacco, but it is holding open the door for a lady. It's not "daggum", but it is "yes sir" and "yes ma'am". It's respect for your parents, and the traditions that their parents taught them. It's looking someone in the eye and understanding that their word is as good as any legally binding contract. It's not the fishing trip with your grandad, but it's the stories he tells while you bait your hook. It's telling those same stories to your grandkids.

Now the only way this blog thing is going to be worth reading for anyone else is if you have something to add to it. I can name 100 more "southern things", but leave me a comment and let me know what I left out. I'm sure there are a few that I will have to throw back in here too.